How Would You Answer This Question?
Understanding libido through the lens of healthy intimate connection.
A few years ago I attended a menopause conference in New York City where speakers addressed a wide variety of menopause-related topics.
During the conference, one of the speakers polled the audience: Who in the room felt like they had completely honest communication with their partner about their sexual preferences and experiences?
Only about 10 women in a room of 300 women raised their hands.
In that moment, a harsh reality was laid bare: most people are ill-equipped to nurture healthy intimacy.
This is the crux of why addressing low libido is complicated: the causes can be many layered, and those layers are hard to uncover in a 15-minute appointment with a physician who likely received little training in the biological, psychological and social aspects of female sexual health.
Thankfully, there are resources available that can help you troubleshoot low libido, but also have the potential to make an already healthy sex life even better.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
Connection refers to the cultural, social and relationship dynamics that impact sexual satisfaction and desire. And as you can imagine, there are a lot of topics that fall under this umbrella term.
Because it’s impossible to do the topic justice in a single email, I’m going to offer an array of fabulous resources so you can choose the ones that best meet your needs.
Please note: any of these resources is great for troubleshooting low desire AND for up-leveling an already great intimate relationship. I can’t recommend them enough.
Without further ado, here are some resources you may find helpful:
If you want to focus on better communication with your partner read Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life by Vanessa and Xander Marin.
If you want to understand the science of female sexuality from the woman who revolutionized how we think about desire read Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski.
If you want a book that focuses on good sex in a long term relationship read Emily Nagoski’s latest book Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections.
If you want to give your male partner a book about female sexuality written by a guy, for guys hand him She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Female Pleasure by Ian Kerner.
I’m curious? What resources have you found helpful that are not on this list? Reply to this email or leave a comment and let me know!
xo,
Rebecca
p.s. Missed the first two posts about low libido? No worries - I’ve gotcha! Click on the posts below to catch up:
