Yeah, No. Absolutely Not.
Giving you permission to reject all unhelpful "helpful" advice.
Last week, just as we were recovering from Thanksgiving and in the thick of the holiday shopping madness, an email landed in my inbox that rubbed me the wrong way.
The purpose of the email was to convince midlife women not to let important self care habits fall by the wayside during the busy holiday season. And while I agree with the message that you’ll enjoy your holidays more if you take care of yourself in small, manageable ways throughout the season, the argument was delivered with a lack of sensitivity to how hard each of us is already trying to be all the things to all the people - including ourselves. Not to mention it included some ridiculous fear mongering about what will happen if you “slack off” for a few weeks.
So I decided to devote this week’s newsletter to sending a different message:
It’s actually okay to just put your head down and do what it takes to get through the holiday season. It really, truly is.
And while this particular sentiment was born out of feeling extremely contrary after reading the aforementioned email, I actually think it’s a decent holiday mantra.
Because “do what it takes to get through” can mean whatever each of us needs it to mean at any given moment.
Maybe doing what it takes to get through the holidays means finally saying no to the stuff you don’t care about, going to a fitness class even though you don’t have time, and passing a bunch of to-do’s off to your partner or simply opting out of those to-do’s altogether.
Or maybe it means resigning yourself to doing what you’ve always done.
Either way, I trust you to know what the best approach is for you in the context of your life. I trust you to learn what you need to learn from the outcome and to change what you need to change when you’re ready to change it.
And I give you permission to reject any voices telling you that you’re falling short unless you prioritize what they think is best for you.
I believe in you!!!
xo, Rebecca
P.S. “I’m just feeling really down these days and I don’t know why.”
P.P.S. My need-to-think-through-every-scenario brain would like to remind you to use common sense when “doing what it takes to get through”. For example, don’t ignore a lump in your breast. Or signs of a heart attack. And so on and so forth.